There probably is no such thing as an orthoglossary.  It’s probably not even a word.  I made it up out of Greek ορθω- = straightright (as in ὄρθωσις = making straight, directing, guiding) and English glossary, from Latin, glossarium = a collection of glosses, from Greek γλωσσα = language, tongue. So this is Crutchfield’s Tongue-Straightener.

My credentials for this endeavor include a bachelor’s degree, cum laude, in English, from an accredited university (though how they could grant a degree—cum laude, no less—to a student who had never read Paradise Lost, nor a word of Byron, nor of Wordsworth, is certainly beyond me); an introductory linguistics class at the same university; an intermediate German class, ditto, taught by a noted historical linguist; a keen ear and a knack for mimicry; a mind that rejoices in pattern and system (an affinity not noticeably manifested in my outward life); an upbringing in a highly literate, erudite, and talkative family; and a lifetime spent largely in reading books when I would have done well to have done something else once in a while.

To avoid possible misunderstandings, a word:  readers will probably notice that I tend to pick on the same writers and publications again and again.  In general, that’s not because these writers and publications are particularly bad (often quite the opposite).  It’s because these are the writers and publications I most often read.  If I criticize their writing, it’s because I respect them, and I want them to do better.  Now, that’s not always the case, and I reserve the right to ridicule bad writers and speakers without in any way endorsing them or their ideas.  But the fact remains that some of my favorite writers often do not express themselves as well as they ought, and I plan to call them out for it whenever I see fit.


J. D. Crutchfield

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